It's nice to meet new people. Today, I went to support my boyfriend while he was at football practice, but since I showed up an hour early I sat in the bleachers reading my summer homework for my AP class next year. When I least expected it, a father figure sat near me with his Nixon camera. When I caught sight of the camera I mentioned that it was a nice camera and from there a conversation emerged.
We talked for a while about the future, relationships, and so much more. He gave me some good tips to prevent any problems and how to fix them. Considering that he may be around 40 if not younger, he seems very wise and experienced. Eventually he realized who my boyfriend was and informed me that he had coached him when he was little. What a small world!
He was mostly impressed that I had been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and that I was there enduring the heat just to support him. Almost immediately he knew that I was the "mature one of this relationship," but he was aware that my boyfriend had improved in his grades and in his form. We talked until the players came out and he went to work at taking team pictures. At the time I had the idea that my parents were going to show up, but I was wrong. After a while of sitting like a loner, the second game was over and everyone was waiting for the next one to start, so I took the chance to go stand on the sideline where I had seen other parents to get a better look at the scrimmage.
My boyfriend didn't like it. He didn't like that I was on the field, but what it really was was that he was embarrassed because his teammates were curious as to why I was standing there. I'm sorry, I thought I was doing the right thing by supporting him. It's not the first time he's complained. I had gone to support him while he played softball and he complained that I was distracting him by screaming and holding up a sign. Is there nothing right I can do? I had just gone through a conversation with a man that considered our relationship good since I had done so much to help him. Sometimes it feels like my efforts are not enough. And at other times it feels like all my efforts were a success. At this point I need to consider that before my boyfriend met me his grades were at an all time low, but now they're almost as good, if not, better than mine. Before my boyfriend met me he thought that drinking, beer pong, and smoking anything was the way you were suppose to experience high school, now, he does none of that. Instead, he's starting to see the other side and realizing that it's not as glamorous as people make it. More and more he sees that it's just repulsive and usually you don't even remember it. Before me, my boyfriend hadn't experienced love the way his grandma had loved him until he felt it again with me. Not to say that he loves me like a grandma, but I care as much as his grandma had when she was alive. Knowing that, makes me cry. Me and my family are the people he didn't really get to know. His life was completely different than mine, but somehow, we're still together.
In less than a week I will be leaving the country for 5 weeks, having almost no communication with my boyfriend. As scared as I am to leave, I know he will not betray me and I most certainly will not betray him. Everyone says it will be good for us. "Distance makes the heart grow fonder." Let's hope they're right. My fear is eating me up, but I know I am stronger than this. May God help me because I am deeply in love with this boy and it is nearly killing me!
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