I am currently going through a transition in life where things feel like they're beginning but other things are ending. Going into my first year of college I wasn't sure what to expect; honestly, I was extremely insecure and nervous. However, after my first two days I realized that it's not the idea of college than worried me, it was the idea of all the hours I was going to end up spending studying.
At this moment, I aim to Major in Chemistry, and, God willing, I will be successful. Of course, for such a challenging Major I will need to sit down and focus or else things will not come as easy or beneficial. This fact sent me tumbling into a hypnotic trance of endless occurring questions. What about my volunteer work at church? Will I be able to juggle both school and church? Should I get a job? Can I get a job? So far I have managed to get an idea of the answers to most of these questions.
During the summer I had an interview and received a job working in a library, which I was extremely stoked for, however, before I could start or receive training I had to go through a long process that took most of my summer to wait for and finally get done. Unfortunately, they were unable to hire me after they were informed of my class schedule. Therefore, I was left destroyed and jobless. It took me a week or so to regain my confidence and move on.
Meanwhile, I was not doing any volunteer work at the church because I received no updates or phone calls on whether they needed my assistance or not. Yet, when I attended a meeting to be informed of the upcoming year I was highly discouraged and disappointed. It did not appear promising and illogical, which added to my concern. As much as I would like to return and make a difference to these students' lives I also had to consider my own life.
At the same time, I had been hoping that the church would consider me for a position since I had been there for about 4 years now. Today, I saw a glimpse of hope, receiving a phone call about training. Very ambiguous since I am uncertain if the training will show my potential, almost like a test, or if it means I got the job. Now it is starting to look like I will only be able to attend school and work, which still leaves me wondering what I will end up doing. Will I be teaching this year? On the bright side, college life has been kind on me, I've gotten a glimpse of most aspects and am excited to experience more throughout my years.
