Homeless

Everyday that passes I find myself more appreciative of what I have. The clothes I wear, that I have a place to live and food to eat. Today, at work, I found a homeless man sleeping on a bench outside the office. He was wrapped in a comforter and looked sound asleep, so I did my best not to interrupt him during his slumber. Once I entered the office and began to set up, Monsignor was talking to me and I told him about the man sleeping outside. He informed me that the man comes and goes, but is no real harm. Normally he asks for food or drink and sits in the waiting area to stay warm. Monsignor showed me where we keep the food and what I can offer as drink.
The homeless man didn't come in for a while but of course he did come in at some point. It was heart wrenching, seeing a man like him act the way he did. I don't know his real story but Monsignor and another co-worker of mine explained that I shouldn't believe his stories because most of them are fables. This man, he was tall, light clue eyes, tanned skin but extremely dirty. Smudges of dirt all over his face and hands. He had a dirty blonde tint to his hair that I could not distinguish if it was dirt or his actual hair color. His nails had grown out and were caked in dirt. He had a beard that curled but didn't blow in the wind. He wore a red hoodie and a white T-shirt underneath. He wore some worn out jeans and I never really got a clear look of his shoes but at a glimpse, they were old running shoes.
As he sat in the waiting area, he would start to talk, mostly to himself and sometimes I wouldn't know whether he was talking to me or not. His voice would begin loud then fade and he's babble almost like a child. He'd get excited about something, laugh at his own words and continue talking. I tried to follow his stories, I really did, but I kept getting lost because he kept changing topics midway through. It was hard, I'll admit, to feel completely comfortable around him because growing up I'd witness a few things. When I was in middle school, there was a homeless man wandering near a burger joint. I was with my mom in the car and she always had a heart to help people in need, so she bought an extra burger and parked. She got out of the car and told me to stay put, so I twisted in my seat to watch her approach the man. Suddenly, as my mom showed him the burger, he slapped it out of her hands, yelled something and nearly knocked her over. She came rushing back to the car, got in, and drove off. Both of us were rattled and didn't digest what happened for a while. Since that moment, I never knew how to react to homeless people and so, I sat behind my desk the entire time, listened and attempted to decipher his words. There was a long, silent pause before he asked if he could have a cup of coffee, so I went to the kitchen and got him a cup full. He continued to sit for a while, babbling on and on.
The phone began to ring often so I was kept busy by work. After a while he came up to me and asked for more coffee so I got him another cup full. He walked outside and I sat, contemplating what I had seen before my eyes. I looked down at myself then at the reflection of myself through my blank phone screen. I'm lucky... I thought, to have clothes and a lot of them, to be able to decide what I wear, to see the shoes I had gotten myself for Christmas as a gift from my parents. My hair, clean and soft from being washed often. My hands and body, clean because of the water I use to shower, a house to sleep in instead of a bench and food, not just coffee. How lucky most of us are... how selfish we get... how blind we are. We live day to day, going to work, earning money, buying food, paying bills, and even complain about how "life is Hell!" We have no real idea until we lose it all, and even I can't imagine how it would be like, I've grown up well with material things, but I do my best to give back. I donate my clothes, if I money to spare I'll give it away, no questions asked, but I, like most people in the world, am selfish. I could try to fake it and continuously go to soup kitchens, and so on but I'm not going to lie to myself or the readers of my blog. Yes, I have days were I go out and help pass out clothing and those are the day were I sincerely want to help. I don't go to make myself feel mighty and good for helping, of course I feel better knowing I helped, but I feel better leaving that place knowing that there are people who can now wear clothes and shoes around that are practically new compared to their rundown everything.
Children, children that now have shoes to wear to school so they don't get bullied, shirts that are clean. Even children who get a chance to read books and keep them. I've never had to go through what they went to and that makes me lucky. It makes you lucky too. Take some time to reflect on what you have and the life you were given. If you were like me where you didn't really have to struggle then think about what kind of person you are. Now, think about a life where you had nothing. I'm not going to tell you to go out and start doing things for the community, that's up to you, but I just want you to take time out of this "Hell hole" to think how lucky you really are. You are lucky. Remember that and life is worth living.